One of the things I must continually be reminded of is that discipleship, or following Jesus faithfully, is not a checklist of activities that you quickly run through or a destination that you arrive at and then you are done. No, Discipleship is a journey. It is a process. It really is a life-long journey of discovery and learning. Yet, every so often I find within myself a voice that whispers that I should be doing “discipleship” better. Someone of my age and experience…well, I should have arrived by now and be better at it or have the answers I need for the questions I still find myself asking.
What has me thinking about this sense of “destination disease” in my life is a new computer. What??!! How do I jump from a new computer to the experience of discipleship? Let me explain. Recently I purchased a new computer for my home office. I’ve actually had the computer for about 5-6 weeks, but I simply haven’t had (or taken) the time to get it all set up and connected to the printer, the second monitor, the wireless, getting the software downloaded and running, that I need, etc… Doing what I needed to do to get my new computer up and running seemed so overwhelming and even a little bit fear producing. What if I don’t know how to do the installation of the various components? After all, I should!!! Because of those kinds of thoughts and feelings I found myself avoiding my office, even though there was a brand-new computer in the box waiting to be used. I just “made do” with the old one I already had.
Finally, a couple weeks ago I decided this was silliness, to have a brand-new computer sitting in my office in the box. So, I made a list of the things I needed to accomplish to get the computer set up and running. I decided that by the end of the week I was going to have at least one or two of the tasks completed to make the computer usable.
So, I got the computer out of the box and on my desk, yes one of the tasks was that simple. I plugged it in, turned it on, and began going through the setup and update screens. Yes, it was a slow process. Yes, at times I felt inadequate because I wasn’t sure how to answer a technology question being asked of me. I went online (with the old computer) to get answers and seek help, I called my personal Gold Level Tech Support (my son 😊), and to be honest, there were a few times I just guessed how to answer a set-up question. And in the end, the computer seems to be working just fine. Slowly over the past week or two, I’ve been accomplishing more of the tasks to make my new computer usable. I’ve gotten the hub connected, the printer is connected and even works. I got the software downloaded and set-up. And in fact, as I am typing this reflection…I’m doing it from my new computer in my home office. YAY!
It has been a journey of learning and growing to get the computer in usable condition. And I still have so much to learn to truly use my new computer to the fullest of its capabilities. But in the midst of my computer work, I’ve been reminded of my discipleship journey. I’ve been facing some of my own faith questions and that is where I’ve felt inadequate. I’m a pastor and a Jesus follower. I should know the answer to that. Or I shouldn’t be feeling this way, etc. As they say, we all need to stop “should-ing” all over ourselves.
If I stop and think about it, I realize that questions of faith I had years ago have long since been answered and I have grown in my faith. I believe I do follow Jesus more closely now than I did. And that is the discipleship journey. Day by day. Moment by moment. Year by year. We keep moving forward. I know I’ve heard it elsewhere too, but I have a wise sister who said, “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.” I believe that to be true. That’s why the journey with Jesus isn’t dull. Maybe that is part of the reason why Jesus traveled so much with his disciples. He was setting the tone for all of his disciples to understand…life and faith is a journey.
So, where do you find yourself being stretched in your faith?? Be gentle with yourself. Don’t “should” all over yourself. Talk to Jesus, talk to fellow disciples and mentors, and be open to learning something new. And remember…the journey of faith…the journey with Jesus is just that…a journey!!! There are new things to experience and explore on the journey. Like my new computer, faith doesn’t come fully installed all at once—it unfolds over time, after all, even computers get regular updates. Wherever you find yourself today, know this: you’re not behind, you’re not failing, and you’re not done—because the journey with Jesus is still unfolding. Just keep listening, keep trusting, and keep moving forward!
Pastor Keith