I don’t know how it happens, but every so often I call someone on my cell phone without meaning to. That kind of happening is often referred to as a butt dial. I often carry my cell phone in my back pants pocket when I’m walking somewhere, and somehow buttons get pushed and the call is made. Now the funny thing is, 90 percent of the time when I make one of these accidental phone calls, it goes to my daughter. It has happened so regularly that Melissa has learned to ignore the calls that come from “DAD” and just wait a little bit because I usually send a text to her that says, “Sorry…Butt Dial.” Sometimes a butt dial to her becomes an excuse to just connect for a bit, “How’s your day going?” “How’s little Ollie doing today?” We’ll send a couple messages back and forth and then get on with our day.
Well, about a month or so ago, I heard the unintended ringing of my phone, which tells me I’m sending a butt dial call. I pulled out my phone as fast as I could, pushed the STOP button, and looked at the screen to see who I was calling. This time it wasn’t Melissa. My butt dial was going to my mom!!
I stood there for just a moment looking at my phone while processing this. “How can this be…mom’s been gone for over a year,” I thought. Oh yeah, I haven’t taken her out of my contacts yet. In fact, I’ve intentionally left her name in my phone as a reminder of her presence in my life. Then I had the thought…wouldn’t I be surprised if she actually answered!
Well, the phone rang several times, and then I heard the recorded message, “The number you have dialed is no longer in service.” Yes, it’s true, that number is no longer in service, but the life, the presence that number represented is still very much in service. I found myself thinking, “If mom were able to answer, what would I tell her? What would I ask her?” It is amazing how life keeps moving along, even in the midst of the reality of loss and death.
Today as we approach Mother’s Day, I’m reminded of the exercise that I often do as a part of Celebration of Life services. I invite the congregation to cup their hands and envision their memories of the person being remembered as something that can be held in one’s hands. First, I invite people to remember any painful or hurtful memories and to acknowledge them. Then I tell the people to open their hands, spread their fingers and allow those hurtful memories to slip between their fingers and then be forgotten in the sands of time. Then I invite the people gathered to make that little bowl with their hands one more time, and this time to envision all the happy, pleasant, good memories that they have with the person being honored, and to hold those memories in one’s hands and acknowledge them. And this time I invite those gathered to wrap their fingers around those memories and hang on to them…because they are a treasure that no one can take from you.
As we approach Mother’s Day this year, I recognize that for some of you, like me, your mom is no longer with you in this world. For others your mother is still alive and present in your life. For others, your mom might be present in this world but distant from you. I recognize that relationships with moms/parents can be complicated. If your mom has died, take a few moments to think of the good and pleasant memories you have of her. Keep holding on to those. For others, if your mom is alive, I encourage you to do something to make a memory with her…a good memory to hang on to because the day is coming when… “that number is no longer in service,” meaning she is no longer with you in this world.
I still smile as I think about butt dialing mom. Yes, I’m leaving her name and number in my contacts so that maybe I can call her by accident again someday, which will then bring another smile to my face as I remember. You know, some numbers may no longer be in service in our life but love never really stops calling us back to remember. This weekend, make some pleasant memories with someone you love. If it’s with your mom, that’s frosting on the cake!
Pastor Keith
